Truly Felicia

Moving

We're moving. It feels strange that when I say I am going home, it's not to our apartment but to a very small one that we've rented from now until October.

In May, when neither of us was sleeping very well and Mini was waking up several times a night, we decided we needed a bigger apartment with at least one more bedroom. At first I was hesitant, I've always found strength and security in my home and where I live has been important. In fact, when it comes to my home I don't like change. I like the same. I like coming back to the same place after we've been travelling, I like traditions and celebrating birthdays in the same kitchen and I like having a constant when other things change. Now, we decided we would sell without buying a new place first and the thought of not having anywhere to go, especially with a small baby, was nerve racking. And how would we ever find a better apartment? Ours was amazing, the light came in from the south and west and we had a balcony overlooking the water. This was also the first home we bought together, where we planned our wedding and found out we were having Mini. How do you leave that place?

Well, said and done, we sold our apartment in less than three weeks and I spent three days in limbo until we found a new one. Which was much, much quicker than we had anticipated and for that I am really grateful. Now, I feel completely at ease. Probably because our new home is so great and will suit our needs much better. For the time being we are renting a lovely albeit small apartment and then we're spending a couple of weeks in California before we can move in. I'm really excited, although I will certainly miss this place.

- all photographs by Johan Nilsson for Lagerlings

Baby Bliss

How did I get so lucky? This wonderful, beautiful and really very strong willed little person simply swept into our lives and changed everything. We love her to bits. I know what I imagined motherhood would be like, so far it has been quite different. Believe me, there isn't a book in the world that can prepare you properly, and I've ploughed through quite a few. Actually, I still can't really believe I'm a mother and that SHE will be with us always. It makes my head spin thinking we will one day have a teenage girl. How on earth will we handle that?

The last eight months have been the most turbulent, overwhelming and sometimes stressful but also the most beautiful, empowering and blissful of my life. I've learned so much about myself and I am sure I'll keep learning as time goes by. For one, I know now that everything will not go as planned and if something actually does go as planned I really shouldn't count on it going as planned the next time. A baby is just that, a baby, and babies do not read calendars, wear a clock or do what you want them to do, they simply are. Which has taught me to simply be and it feels amazing. Before baby, I had a hard time not planning every second, especially weekends and in the beginning I had a hard time understanding why Mini didn't sleep or eat or do anything really according to the books. Now, we sleep, eat and play when we feel like it and I have learned to say no or maybe to parties, lunches and other social gatherings. My fantastic friends seem to accept that this is the way it is with me now and that has made it a whole lot easier. I don't feel guilty.

I've also learned that those first few weeks are the hardest. Mini was colicky and we spent many evenings rocking and trying to comfort her. At the time I felt there was no end in sight but thankfully, at eleven weeks the worst seemed to be over. Colic or not I think the toughest thing to tackle is the sleep deprivation. But it does get better! Mini now sleeps through the night...and then some nights, for some inexplicable reason, she doesn't and I wake up feeling like a zombie! The sometimes total lack of sleep is probably the biggest chock to most new parents. Everyone tells you you won't sleep very well or at all during the first year but you chose to not listen or you think oh, that...well MY child will be different, she'll sleep through the night and if she doesn't I've read this, this and this book and I know EXACTLY what to do to get her to sleep. Well, I've found the best way to handle the sleep situation is to accept it and try to find some comfort in the fact that eventually she will sleep through the night.

Well, it does get a whole lot easier. And more fun! Mini truly makes our world go round and like most enamoured parents we watch her development with awe. Hearing her laugh out loud when Andreas tickles her melts my heart. I love them both so much.

- photographed by Andreas

Family Affair

I just love this! US Vogue features a spread on Patti Hansen, Keith Richards and their large extended family as they gather on Turks and Caicos. The thought of being able to fill a summer home with our (growing!) family and friends would be a dream come true. It might be because I've grown up in a big family, surrounded by my sisters where my parents always, always left the door open for our and their friends to stay over, have brunch, lunch or dinner or just hang around.

- all images from Vogue

Birthday Girl

Yesterday was my birthday! I still turn into a little kid every year anticipating that day. I love birthdays in general and mine in particular. It's a day of sweet Happy Birthdays! from friends and family near and far and often a chance to exchange some news or gossip with those I don't speak to every day.

Yesterday morning we had breakfast at Hotel Skeppsholmen, which I think has the best hotel breakfast in Stockholm. Later Andreas picked me up from work and we were off to dinner some place secret, which turned out to be one of my favorite restaurants Matbaren, a must if you are in Stockholm. I guess for those who know my family well it is not surprising that food is a big part of the Leksell family's birthdays.

I feel my new year will be exceptional! So far 2012 has by far met my wildest expectations. Right now, I couldn't wish for anything more...well maybe an additional birthday gift or two from me to me. Then I'm all set.

- pictures by me from my Instagram, I'm not a cake girl so I had a kanelbulle at Skeppsholmen instead

Have a Good One

It's been a long time since I looked forward to the weekend this much. Wow, this was one rough week. But I feel much better now after some good advise from Andreas and from my parents (via email from Ischgl, they're the best!) and also a big ragù alla bolognese dinner, my one true comfort food. I made it last weekend from my father's recipe and will post it soon, I promise.

Happy weekend!

- kissing couple, beautiful flowers

Happy Weekend: Let's Eat Cake

Have a fantastic weekend! Tomorrow is Andreas' birthday and I'm planning the best start to it with a great breakfast, then for some surprises and hopefully more of the lovely spring weather we've been enjoying lately.

Also, I got the BEST email from my extremely talented friend Andreas Palm who shot our wedding - he's got over 3700 pictures. I'll definitely share some with you!

- image here

Heart Made

I love that creativity is everywhere - that people take charge of their passions and realize their dreams and that dreams that start small grow and turn into real businesses. Take Mary & Matt, they started making chocolate in their kitchen for their friends and the enterprise quickly grew and now they've got a full line of chocolate varieties. I found them on Third Drawer Down, a site full of creativity, where I also got our Accept the Good screen print, which makes me smile every day. Also, isn't the packaging perfection? Do you remember making marble paper when you where little? And those Chocolate Googly Eyes, wouldn't they make the best gift?

I hope you're all having a lovely Thursday! I'm trying to beat off the last of my cold, but I bet dinner at my good friend Hanna's place tonight will be just the cure. She and I and three other girlfriends have a dinner club since five years back. I love our sticktoitiveness, something that's needed when starting a business too, but most of all I love meeting them all and having a chance to catch up and gossip. See you soon girls!

In A Nutshell: Thérèse Renner

I'm so excited to publish the very first In a Nutshell and so happy that the gorgeous, very talented Thérèse Renner was gracious enough to fill in the blanks. She is not only a great and very loyal friend but she also has such style and grace.

Thérèse, thank you!

- Thérèse photographed by Cecilia Tyynelä, Stella photographed by Thérèse, Smythson diary here, other images Pintrest and yes I've shamelessly borrowed this idea from Vanity Fair

Christmas List: For My Great Love

I found this amazing person, this one man who truly makes me whole. He never gives up. He knows my strengths and he knows my weaknesses and he is always there for me, helping me improve, which I've found life is all about. He is also kind, funny and very clever. He knows when to push me and when not to. He compliments me and together I believe we are great and that we truly are a perfect match. He is also my best friend. You know the kind who not only makes you smile but also doesn't always agree with you but still understands you well enough to know exactly why you think and say what you do. He knows all of me and sometimes that scares me. Now, we are getting married and taking such a giant leap and I simply can't wait. Andreas, you have enchanted me completely and I will be forever grateful for the day we met. I love you.

1. Fifiduvie Oh Darling, Let's Be Adventurers, for my great love whom I hope to have many, many adventures with

2. Pink House Mustique Swim Shorts, for my great love the merman who loves to swim

3. A puppy, for my great love the dog lover, I so wish I wasn't allergic

4. Commes des Garçons Man 2 perfume, because I simply can't resist this scent

5. Mason Pearson Pocket Bristle Brush, so that I can have mine to myself

6. Hèrmes Mr. Butterfly Beach Towel, THAT elephant for our magic honeymoon

- bottom left image photographed by me

Christmas List: For My Superhero Father

My father is truly my family's superhero, he is always, always there for us no matter what. We can call him any time, day or night, and be sure he will pick up the phone, listen and answer any question or wondering with brilliance and wit. That is a feat considering he has us four girls and our mother and we are constantly in need of advice. He is also humble, wise and has this amazing stash of fantastic stories from his many adventures all over the world and he tells with new twists every time. We never tire of them. As children our parents read to us every night, Alice in Wonderland, The Secret Garden, Asken Yggdrasil, Eloise and Robinson Crusoe were favorites among others, which I think has fostered all of us to read, read, read and never stop imagining.

My father is also an excellent cook, I can't say I know anyone as great, his Osso Buco is heaven. My mother sometimes says she doesn't see the point in going to restaurants since my father can make everything on the menu ten times better. Maybe that says it all?

1. Nikon 1 V1 camera, for my father the adventurer

2. WANT Les Essentiels de la Vie Narita iPad case, for my father the reader on the go

3. Staub Oval Cast Iron Cocotte, for my father the master chef and family man

4. Summit Grande Ding Dong Bell, for my father and his sometimes crazy biking

5. Jawbone UP, for my father and that hike up the Mont Blanc

6. Perrier-Jouët Belle Epoque 2002, for my father the champagne connoisseur (2002 is supposed to be a great year)

- bottom left picture here, collage by me. PS. This is last week's X-mas list, I'm sorry about the delay.