Today was a dark day, a very close family friend has passed. I feel an utter need to cherish every moment of every day and not waste a second of happiness. I want to be the best I can be with the ones I love as much as I can and never succumb to petty arguing about trivial things. Life is large.
One of my favorite poems in times of grief is Elaine by Edna St. Vincent Millay. I read it again today and it sent a light through my heart.
Oh, come again to Astolat!
I will not ask you to be kind.
And you may go when you will go,
And I will stay behind.
I will not say how dear you are,
Or ask you if you hold me dear,
Or trouble you with things for you
The way I did last year.
So still the orchard, Lancelot,
So very still the lake shall be,
You could not guess—though you should guess—
What is become of me.
So wide shall be the garden-walk,
The garden-seat so very wide,
You needs must think—if you should think—
The lily maid had died.
Save that, a little way away,
I’d watch you for a little while,
To see you speak, the way you speak,
And smile,—if you should smile.